There are many things that cause tears, sadness, complaining, despair, depression, hindrance, fear or hopelessness. I have a reason to be and do all of those things; I have a reason to ask “why? And how did this happen?”. But my reaction to this circumstance determines my faith. In a recent time of trial I found my refuge in God. Though things quaked around me, i found refuge in this:
{Cease striving and know that I am God.}{I know that You are for me, I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness, I know that You have come even if to write upon my heart to remind me who you are}
He came down and wrote on my heart to remind me that He was near. He reminded me with His gentle voice that "I am with you".
I was faced with the option of questioning God or asking“why?” But choosing to praise and choosing thankfulness was far better. Peace came in like a flood and kept me near to hope when hope looked a million miles away from hope. When I should have despaired, i didn't.
I believed in the Son of Man and I believed that He is able, I believed that He is still God and even though, I prayed, fasted, believed, praised, & hoped. I still believe, though things seem to have gotten worse. My mummy, whose been battling mental health and an array of struggles, got a third degree burn 3 weeks ago. It had been two years since I'd seen her. She lost her appetite and is extremely picky about what she eats. She's paranoid about her life and there's much more but the reason I write this is to tell you, don't be shaken by what you see and don't let the hurts and trials you face, define you. Our circumstance will test our faith, hope and belief, but it causes us to grow. And this trip home {to Trinidad}, I walked in peace, hope, love and belief in a deeper level.
When my love grew dim and was tested, I learned that love bears all things.
My heart needed 1 Corinthians 13 one morning when it was becoming difficult to love.
"Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, DOES NOT ACT UNBECOMINGLY; it does not seek its own, IS NOT PROVOKED, DOES NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT A WRONG SUFFERD, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
{And then it got to}
BEARS ALL THINGS, believes all things, hopes all things, ENDURES all things. Love never fails…."
We may not feel like loving or bearing all things but i didn't give myself a choice not to. By loving my heart gained strength to carry on. I was kept in peace & I grew in love.
Cease striving{let go, relax} and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold{refuge}. {psalm 46:10}
The God of Jacob is our stronghold; I found my refuge in the all-knowing, all-powerful, Almighty, loving, caring, compassionate, in control God, creator of the universe whose purpose remains regardless of if the circumstance does.
My heart ceased striving {and is still learning to}…..to know that HE is GOD.
{Rest in His promise, rest in His truth, rest in His love}
I rest in the thought that He is a very present help in the time of trouble, I rest in the thought that He’s close to my heart to hold it up when it wants to shrink. His faithfulness remains. His love remains. His truth remains.
He’s near, just listen to Him say…I am for you and I won't forsake you. He speaks to keep you, when trials want to break you.
Know the God of hosts{war, army} is with you and He always wins.
Grace, peace, love and mercy be multiplied to you.
~reneejael
